oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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