I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
