Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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