remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
