Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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