Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
