I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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