I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
