I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize