We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He better not be in your backpack
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
