dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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