On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cut my penus on the lid.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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