Kiss
Puke
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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