whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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