What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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