mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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