Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
