your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I need a beard to bite.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
