I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
