I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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