one might say we're banned from that church
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
