im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Someone signed my nipple.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize