Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
