The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
