I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
