is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
