she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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