I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
