There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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