morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
