Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
