I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize