It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize