I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
