I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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