Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
