he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
