shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
