i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
