you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
