Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
