Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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