YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
