Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
