You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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