it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
