If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
