he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
