she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think your dad took our porno
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
