that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
