at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
