Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
