Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Green mimosas i think yes
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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