Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
