he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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