Can Purell be used as lube?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
