Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
