so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
