Just fell off a train. Bad.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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