Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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