Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
