I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
