I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
