Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
