I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
