how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
