Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
