I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize