Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
