Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
