I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
