I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
