big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
