I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
