so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
